Sorting through the Myths of Marriage
We’re living in an age of extremes, especially when it comes to marriage. On one hand we have the fairytale stories complete with magic, Prince Charming, and happily-ever-after and on the other hand we’ve got a cynical, doomed attitude towards marriage that can be seen all over the media.
The truth about marriage is that it’s somewhere in the middle and a little bit of both. We don’t have the right to expect perfectly smooth sailing any more than we do a joyless life-sentence. Marriage isn’t like that anymore than life is.
We’ve gathered some thoughts on the biggest challenges that we all face in relationships. The truth is, marriage won’t always measure up to our expectations and if you’re part of the 1% of the population who’s relationship is perfect, congratulations! You are very very lucky.
As for the rest of us, when you love somebody your relationship is worth fighting for and for those of us in irreparable situations, you’re not alone. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and we’ve found some of the different ways people have gotten there.
IS IT ALL A RUSE? THE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE
“People don’t want to admit the truth, so they change their memories to make sense of their marriages and their spouses. We hold unrealistic beliefs about our significant other in order to help the relationship survive. It makes my marriage stronger when I’m willing to make an excuse about the fact that my husband is being annoying.”
LIFE’S CERTAINTIES. DEATH, TAXES, DIVORCE
“Take time every day to communicate, enjoy new experiences, support and appreciate your chosen mate, and to always put in the effort. I really think that trying to fix a marriage in a day is like trying to repair a vehicle with duct tape; it doesn’t work. It takes time. If counseling becomes necessary, try it.”
BONDS OF BIOLOGY: WHY WE CHEAT
“The probability of someone cheating during the course of a relationship lies between forty and seventy-six percent. That means four to seven people out of every ten (men and women) will experience everything that the complex phenomenon of “cheating” encompasses.”
WHEN IS IT OK TO HAVE AN AFFAIR
“Some marriages are eventually strengthened by an affair, and some are ruined. It’s safe to say that more bad comes from it than good, but if the marriage is going to work afterwards, the past has to be let go of by both parties.”
“Jealousy can go wrong when you don’t have interests and activities outside of your primary relationship, so make sure you’re exercising, staying healthy, enjoying activities and hobbies that you are good at. All of these things will help you realize that you are an amazing person”
“Rule #1. (they’re all #1) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what girlfriends are for.”
Tokii Co-Founder Karla Stephens-Tolstoy & Resident Relationships Expert Alison Sigmon and take on all your questions about Love, Life and Intimacy from the brand of smarts, humor and facts. They’re informed. They’re opinionated. They’re outrageous.
Q: “What do you do when you are living the ultimate marital lie?“
Tokii experts shed some light on the most difficult realities of marriage – that sometimes, a marriage’s success story is nothing but a ruse and serious change is necessary in order for it to be salvaged. READ NOW
Until next time,
Karla Stephens-Tolstoy
